Heritage memo once more before …”
“I’ve got it in my briefcase, sir,” the aide responded swiftly.
“To get back to the money, Mr. President,” Coover continued. “I’d like to be able to give a ray of hope on that topic. We can deal with the NEA’s other concerns: that teachers will begin teaching to the test, that the possible sanctions we, or I should say, the government has set in place will fail to address the needs of struggling students. Most of that criticism of course comes from liberal bias: the usual housing, nutrition, and medical issues …”
Both assistants jumped in at this point, citing a plethora of statistics to support the conservative side of the argument. They debated the issue amongst themselves as if the President were not even present, or as if he might be impressed by their wonkery. He wasn’t. In fact, he saw such discussions as comical, even trivial.
“My hands are tied at the moment, Toodles,” Herb finally interjected after about ten minutes of heated exchange. The Secretary rose reluctantly. “But I think you’re doin’ a heckuva job,” he concluded, re-shaking his hand. “One heckuva job. You guys sure have the details down. Me? I’m a big ideas kind of guy. I try to see the future. Read the tea leaves, ya know? See what will convince the people. They always need to be persuaded and guided. I tend to get lost in the forest with all that back-and-forth stuff. Then I can’t find my ball and I have to hit a probationary thing just in case. It’s a bitch, and I don’t mean that in a dog sense.” They all laughed. “Now what you could do, Tood, is talk to the states about their funding options. Perhaps they can pick up some of the slack, if it’s not unconstitutional.”